FRUSTRATED-YOUNG-MAN

Journey Through The Wall

Journey Through “The Wall”

We encounter the wall when a crisis turns our world upside down. These walls are not simply one-time events that we pass through and get beyond. They are issues that return and effect our relationship with God and others. Several years ago, I was going through a divorce. I was determined not to give up but to follow Matthew 5:44, “Love you enemies and pray for those who persecute you…” My mantra was, “If you have a problem, find a promise, and decree it because, “God’s Word will not return void,” Isaiah 55:11. These statements are true. But, what do you do when you continue to believe, decree but your prayer isn’t answered? My marriage was over. That’s when I hit the wall!

It’s easy to blame God and others, be mad and not move forward. For most of us the wall appears through a crisis that turns our world upside down. We question ourselves, God, and even the church. We discover for the first time that our faith does not appear to “work”. We have more questions than answers as the foundation of our faith. The wall torments us. We don’t know where God is, what he is doing, or when this will be over. But there is a purpose in “The Wall.” Stories in the Bible help us understand what God is doing. Abraham faced the wall of delays and disappointments with infertility for twenty-five years before the birth of Isaac. Thirteen years later, God led him to another wall—the separation from Ishmael. Abraham encountered a third wall when God commanded him to sacrifice his long-awaited son Isaac on the altar. God was preparing Abraham in great faith that would bless future descendants as a great nation, Genesis 12:1-9.

There are things in all of us we are unaware of. This is God’s way of renovating and purging our affections and passions so that we might enter a fuller relationship with Him. He wants to free us from unhealthy attachments of the world; such as: pride, discontentment, luxury, anger, glutton, envy, slothfulness, etc.

Therefore, great faith does not mean an end to dark times when everything and everyone seems to be against you. Great faith means trudging on regardless; stubbornly holding on to the conviction that, “nothing—not oppression, anguish, persecution, or feminine, or peril or sword…nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord,” Romans 8:35-39.

God works to free us from unhealthy worldly attachments. Before my divorce, I had a worldly attachment to things. I wanted everything that does not go into eternity but steals my relationship with Father God. He wanted to communicate his true love to me and for me to know his peace and rest. Therefore, we attain this through trusting that the wall is drawing us into an intimate relationship with Him. ”It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?” Hebrews 12:7-10.

Young man with three kids

Just as an earthly Father will lovingly, discipline and protect his children, so does our heavenly Father. His purpose is for us to know him so we can trust Him to face and accept the purpose of the wall. We joyfully and willfully detach from certain behaviors for a more intimate, loving attachment to our Heavenly Father. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should as God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you,” James 1:2-5.

To restore a trusting relationship with Father God when you’ve hit The Wall, pray this prayer of faith:
“Father, I confess that when difficulties and trials come into my life, I have grumbled and complained. I realize these trials are not necessarily “walls”, but they are difficult but not impossible with your love. Bless me with a vision of a transformed life filled with hope so that I might consider it “pure joy” when trials come my way. I believe and know you are for me and nothing can come against me. In Jesus Name, amen.”

African-American-woman-thinking

Break the Power of the Past 
Be Your Authentic Self

Have you ever been in a place where you didn’t say anything but continued to serve or appease another person because it wasn’t worth the cost to address and share your true feelings? If so, it’s an indicator of being emotionally immature. Immaturity means, you continually avoid healthy conflict to keep peace and ignore and suppress your emotions to avoid conflict. Therefore, you lose your voice and your identity. If that’s you, then it’s time to learn the biblical principles to guide you into an experience of lasting, beneath-the-surface transformation in your relationship with others and God. He wants to “Restore to you the joy of your salvation, and make you willing to obey. Then you will teach His ways to rebels, and they will return to God,” Psalms 51:12-13.

Interestingly, our bodies know our feelings before our minds. Self-awareness is intricately related to our relationship with God. The challenge is to shed our old “false” self in order to live authentically in our new “true” self. Augustine wrote in Confessions, “How can you draw close to God when you are far from your own self?” Our goal is to know ourselves so that we may know God and fulfill our purpose.

Accept feelings and experience emotions:

Young-man-stressed

The journey of genuine transformation to emotional healthy spirituality begins with a commitment to allow yourself to feel. Scripture reveals God as an emotional being who feels as a person. Having been created in his image, we also are created with the gift to feel and to experience emotions. Therefore, we must pay attention to our emotions. Too often our bodies know our feelings before our minds. Consider prayerfully the following. If there is emotion in regard to issues, such as: health, relationships, work, etc. Ask the Holy Spirit to walk you through each issue to gain back your voice and identity:

    • What upsets you?
    • What are you sad about?
    • What are you fearful of?
    • What makes you happy?
    • Is it difficult to be your true self?

Going back to go forward:

These concerns can open the door to “emotional baggage”. Our goal is to walk in union with the Lord and to live joyfully in the present; however, it requires going back in order to go forward. We must recognize and break free from the destructive patterns of our past. If these issues are not confronted, just as a physical wall stops us from moving ahead, God sometimes stops us in our spiritual journey through a spiritual wall to radically transform our character and restore our identity and voice. Every follower of Jesus will at some point confront the wall. Failure to understand and surrender to God’s working in us at the wall often results in great long-term pain, ongoing immaturity, and confusion.*

Be intentional

A simple, clear “Rule of Life” is to love others and yourself. It will increase awareness of God’s presence throughout the entire day and give you grace when tempted to fall back. To love you and others is practicing, and integrating such skills as speaking respectfully, listening with empathy, negotiating fairly, and uncovering the hidden expectations we have of others and of ourselves. If we are to nurture a heart that treats every person with respect, we need to be intentional about our lives and grow spirituality with a thoughtful, purposeful plan. To develop this plan, follow these steps:

    • No longer living out of a false self but developing a relationship with God and others.
    • Use your voice to live out your identify by accepting changes, grow through them
    • Trust God even when you don’t know the purpose now but choose to use every challenge as an opportunity to grow.*
    • Embrace God’s plan and anchoring yourself in Him, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and all things will be added to you,” Matthew 6:33.

*Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero.