WOMAN WITH A CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR

What Makes Christian Counseling Distinct?

Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

CHRISTIAN COUNSELING

Finding the right counselor goes beyond just having someone give you good advice. Friends offer advice to one another on a regular basis. We all find ourselves helping and supporting those we love through hard times. Biblical counseling takes authority of Scripture and helps individuals see how it works and is practical for their situation. Many Christians who are devoted to the Lord still feel stuck. They are doing everything that they know to do but they just cannot seem to move forward. There are steps to take that will break any unhealthy patterns. Therefore, if someone is feeling overwhelmed, sad, or fearful and is depending on alcohol, drugs, porn, or any other coping mechanism, it will not solve the problem. Christian counselors have a unique advantage of being able to approach issues holistically based on three dimensions – body, mind, and spirit. Perhaps some counseling approaches miss the spiritual dimension. A biblical understanding of how we are made, as physical, psychological, and spiritual beings, means all three dimensions play an important part in one’s health, peace, and happiness.

Understanding A Biblical View of People

At the heart of Embracing His Call, is a Biblical view of people. We see “every person is uniquely created in the image of God”, Genesis 1:27. We also understand that we live in a fallen world and that sin has entered humanity, as a result of trials, tribulations, and that sin affects everyone, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:23. Sin is real and it causes pain and dysfunction everywhere—in our minds, bodies, families, relationships, and environment. The Biblical worldview involves more than just patching together verses here and there but provides a broader and deeper understanding that is both spiritual and practical. It’s a worldview based on God’s unchanging Word, “He is the same yesterday, today and forevermore,” Hebrews 13:8. Since God is the creator of everything in heaven and on earth, He is the standard of truth. “Jesus said, I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me,” John 14:6. It is not just treating the symptoms but getting to the root of how the enemy had the legal right to come to steal, kill and destroy. This underlying Biblical View is that Jesus came to destroy the works of the enemy so that all may lead a long, happy abundant life, John 10:10. This truth is the foundation that guides and shapes Christian counseling. The biblical narrative tells us who we are, why we’re here, how we exist in relationship to God, and how to understand and overcome the many hardships we experience in this life.

WOMAN CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR TALKING WITH YOUNG MAN

Building an Intentional, Caring Relationship

A Christian approach to counseling is primarily forming a safe, nonjudgmental environment for clients. Since we were created to live before and with God and each other, we engage in an intentional, trusting relationship that respects where individuals are spiritually and emotionally. Empathic listening is at the heart of facilitating a relationship. We hear our client’s heart with a personal kind of listening and desire to create a compassionate exchange. For example, a couple came in for marriage counseling. After a discussion, it was noted that previous counselor had given coping mechanisms and set marriage goals but had not met the spiritual differences. His spiritual checklist revealed he had been looking to other sources rather than God to meet a need. He had pursued occult games, New Age teaching and other false guidance. His spiritual foundation conflicted with his wife. Her foundation was built on the Word of God. After examining the foundation of both beliefs, they were able to come to a mutual spiritual agreement. Our desire is to help people overcome, recover, discern, forgive, and to walk in victory. Therefore, we use biblical tools so clients may take charge of their personal world and walk in freedom.

Discerning and Respecting the Whole Individual

We hold to an ethical standard; we are all creatively and wonderfully different and made in the image of God. As Christian counselors, we respect individual’s different belief systems; therefore, we listen to hear rather than to respond. It’s our job to encourage individuals to be a researcher of truth and to give direction and hope in their thinking and decision making. Our purpose is to address both the external behavior and the interior heart. For example, a female client sought help for overeating having unsuccessfully tried dozens of weight-loss diets over the years. This to be understood and dealt with by getting to the root of this behavior. If we dealt with simply suggesting behavioral change, dealing with her bad habits and boosting her self-esteem, we just put a band aid on the problem and have not identified the root. We take time to ask open ended questions. Through careful investigation and prayer, a deep issue surfaced, then we could deal with the deeply entrenched rejection and anger.

TWO CHRISTIAN WOMEN CHATTING

As Christian Counselors, we share three goals: To guide the counselee in identifying and stating the problem, to provide scriptural insight for dealing with the problem, to help the counselee find answers to challenges through the application of scriptural principles and to promote biblical change that will transform lives. We are so humbled that God would so graciously include us in His Kingdom purpose. Serving people through the teaching of His Word and renewing hope and purpose is truly our joy.

Signs-on-fence

September is Suicide Prevention Month

Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

Know the Signs and Respond Effectively

A suicide attempt left 16-year-old varsity cheerleader, Emma Benoit, paralyzed, but propelled her on a mission to use her painful experience to help others find hope, and shine more light on the fact that 20 young people die every day by suicide in the United States.* Her story demands our attention for the need of awareness and the necessity of bringing hope to this generation.

The suicide rate for teenagers is climbing. “It is now the third leading cause of death among young people aged 15–24, and the second leading cause of death among college students. For every completed suicide, estimates assert that there are as many as 25 attempted suicides.” * As Christians, we want to be able to help those who consider or attempt suicide to choose a future and a hope instead. Why do so many of today’s teenagers consider death their only option? How can we help teenagers learn effective ways of dealing with their problems?

Depressed-young-man

Our first concern should be to pray for sons/daughters and to enlist others to pray. At the same time, take steps to determine whether he/she’s clinically depressed. Behaviors such as painful introspection, negative self-concept, dramatic mood swings, episodes of moping and crying, withdrawal and isolation, fatigue and other unexplained physical ailments, poor academic performance, and outbursts of anger and overt acting out are common symptoms. If any of the following are present and persist for more than two weeks, you should seek appropriate help immediately. The following are steps one can take to identify and to support your child.

  1. Be Proactive. “Be sober-minded; be watchful,” I Peter 5:8. 
Focus on what you can control. Maybe your child is just having a bad day, but when signs of mental health troubles last for weeks, don’t assume it’s just a passing mood. Don’t wait for them to come to you. You might start by saying, “You seem sad. I’m open to talking about this, because I love you and I care what happens to you.”
  2. Listen even if they are not talking. “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” James 1:19. 
Recognize and watch for major changes in your child’s sleep patterns, appetite, and social activities. Self-isolation, especially for kids who usually enjoy hanging out with friends or playing sports, can signal serious difficulties. If your child is struggling more than usual with schoolwork, chores and other responsibilities, these are additional signs you shouldn’t ignore.
  3. Build trust. “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love,” Romans 12:10. Realize that your child might be facing suicide risks you haven’t considered. Here are some things that can cause young people to think about ending their lives: Loss of a loved one to death, divorce; bullying (in person or online); discrimination, rejection, racism, family history of suicide or mental health difficulties; stigma (the belief that it’s wrong or shameful to talk about mental health or suicide).
  4. Restore hope. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds,” Psalm 147:3. 
Define challenges, give unconditional love and set healthy goals to restore hope. Try not to dismiss what you’re seeing as “teenage drama.” Never assume your child is exaggerating or playing games if they say or write: “I want to die.” “Nothing matters.” “I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?” “Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.” “Everyone would be better off without me.” “You won’t have to worry about me much longer.”
  5. Respond with understanding. “Encourage one another and build one another up,” 1 Thessalonians 5:11. 
When your child talks or writes about suicide, you may feel shocked, hurt, or angry. You may even want to deny what you’re seeing or argue with your child. These feelings are natural and valid, but it’s essential to focus on your child’s needs first and foremost. Your goal is to create a safe space where your teen can trust you to listen and express concern, but without judgment or blame.
  6. Synergize. “We are laborers together with God,” 1 Corinthians 3:9. 
Get professional help right away. If your teen is self-harming, or you sense they’re at risk for attempting suicide, take them to the emergency department of your local hospital. Fast action is crucial when things have reached a crisis point.

If you see signs of suicidal thoughts but don’t sense an immediate crisis, you still need to take action. Reach out to your pediatrician or local mental health providers who treat children and teens. Explain what you’re seeing and hearing and schedule a mental health evaluation. Health care providers can help you and your teen create a safety plan that covers: Warning signs or triggers your teen feels will lead to suicidal thoughts; Possible steps to help them cope when they feel triggered; Sources of support: family, friends, teachers, mentors and others; Emergency contacts and steps to take if things get worse.

Remember:

If you are worried about your child, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (273-8255). This free lifeline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, from anywhere in the United States. Lifeline team members are there to listen and help you find the resources you need.

You can also learn more about Focus on the Family’s teen suicide prevention online training,

Alive to Thrive.

My Ascension

National Institute of Health

Soldiers rasing the US flag

United We Stand

Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

United We Stand

One Nation Under God

President Harry S. Truman once said, “America was not built on fear. America was built on courage, on imagination and an unbeatable determination to do the job at hand.” We do not have to look very far to realize there are many things which need prayer in our nation today. Fear is widespread. Anxiety has gripped many. Uncertainty has touched us all. Yet, none of those things are to move us as we stand together in unity and pray for our country.

There is a place where God commands a blessing. That place is unity. Our country is called the UNITED States of America. According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word united is defined as: Joined; made to agree; cemented; mixed; attached by growth. The enemy has fought the most in our nation at the place of unity. He is doing everything he can to create division. Division in race. In politics. In gender. His plan is to divide. There is no commanded blessing from God where there is division, and he knows that. While we know it is not possible for us to agree on all things – We can agree on some things.
We can agree we desire the plan of God for our nation. We can agree we want the best for the people of this nation. We desire one nation under God. We can agree we want to please God with our faith and prayer life. Then let’s unify and pray for unity in our nation.

Together let’s pray that first of all, truth be revealed all across America. Then pray for unity. Unity in your home. Unity between man and wife. Unity with your children and grandchildren. Unity in your city. Unity in our government, and unity in our great nation.

Let’s lay hold of the promise in Psalm 133, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity…there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.” Let’s stand together and bring unity back to our nation! For with God all things are possible, and nothing is impossible to him who believes.

Men praying

The following prayers for our nation are from Intercessors of America. This organization publishes prayer resources and unites Christians in prayer for our nation since 1973. Their mission is to inform, connect, and mobilize a network of those who pray and fast for America.

PRAY for these leaders to recognize their own inadequacy and seek the will of God. (Prv 3:5-8)
PRAY that they would fear God and that God would be glorified through their actions. (Prv 9:10)
PRAY that the idols of Washington, D.C. would be struck down, and only the one true God would be honored. (Is 42:8-9)
PRAY for God’s will to be done in our nation, and that our leaders would honor biblical values in their rulings, laws, and decisions. (Mt 6:10)
PRAY that any hidden agenda, deception, or subversive action would be brought to light and not profit. (Jer 7:8)
PRAY for God’s glory and presence to affect Washington, D.C. and our government in greater measure, that light will displace the darkness. (Is 60:1-2)
PRAY that any spiritual battle that wages in the Administration and its offices would result in a victory against any plans of the Enemy. (Eph 6:12)
PRAY that these leaders would encourage religious freedom so that our nation may be free to follow the Lord as it says in Scripture, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!” (Ps 33:12)
PRAY that these leaders would have humility as they recognize that God has given them any ability they have, and that their lives should be lived in honor to the Lord. (Jas 4:10)
PRAY for protection from temptations to seek power, follow evil, and empower ungodly principles through the overcoming power of Christ. (Prv 16:25)
PRAY for strength to do what is right even if they see that it is not popular. (2 Tim 1:7)
PRAY that they would seek a community of believers to uphold them in prayer, encouragement, and accountability (Is 33:6)
PRAY that any ungodly plans put forth would encounter a spirit of confusion in its planning and would not come to fruition. (Mt 6:33)
PRAY that those hidden servants of God, Christ-followers within our nation’s government, would be protected, elevated, and guided as they serve our nation and the Lord. (Ps 91)

Boy saluting US flag

Lady on mobile phone

How to Overcome Temptation

Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

How to Overcome Temptation

Resist what’s restricting you!

People give in to temptations for many reasons. The research from Barna Group shows nearly half of Americans say they are tempted to spend too much time with media, including the Internet, television, and video games. Another form of temptation is to express anger or “go off” on someone by text or email, to escape or get away from “real life” for a while, to feel less pain or loneliness, to satisfy people’s expectations, to take a shortcut to success, for personal pleasure or because “I enjoy it”.

Temptation can be a serious issue when its long-term consequences lead to loss of job, home, health, livelihood, or relationship. If you experience a strong desire to act in a way you know isn’t good for your health, there are steps to resist what’s restricting you from leading a long, satisfied life.

All temptation is linked to what you think on.

You can’t be tempted unless you have first thought about it. Therefore, whatever you agree with, you give your power to that thought. A simple formula is to control your thoughts, and you will control temptation. It’s like a woman who doesn’t want to get overweight but continues to eat to fill a void. Sooner or later, she will be overweight. Maybe you sometimes look in the mirror and think, I wish I was a better person. Are you sometimes disappointed with yourself? Maybe you get angry or selfish or have some bad habits, maybe you let yourself down and you let other people down. You’re not really the person you had hoped you were. I think all of us feel like that from time to time. If anyone thinks on the wrong things long enough, and sooner or later they will give into sin when tempted.

Lady holding Bible

The Bible helps you resist what’s restricting you.

The Bible has a special ability to change people for the better. It doesn’t happen immediately. It’s not like reading one verse, and whoa, you are now a perfect Superman or Superwoman. But it happens over time. The more you read the Bible, the more you absorb it, the more the Bible will change you into a better person.

What is that source of temptation? “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire,” James 1:14. Let’s get to the root! Temptation draws its strength from desire. This explains why not everyone is faced with the same temptations. The lure of internet pornography is a serious temptation for one person, while for another it is not. Both have the same access, only one is tempted. What is the difference? The difference is desire. The opportunity to gossip exists for all, yet some gossip and others do not. Why is this? Some want to, others do not.

By seeking truth found in the Bible, words read will speak to you and suggest things you can improve. As you read day after day, week after week, month after month, your mind will be shaped into the values of God Himself, who inspired the Bible. You are shaped into God’s values in a supernatural way. We can’t explain it other than that this book is supernatural.

Those who resist temptation are those who love God.

God’s love thinks the eternal perspective. James 1:12 reminds us that the crown of life is given to those who resist temptation. The root of the issue is guarding our desires and thoughts by focusing on our love for God. The Scriptures are clear that a choice must be made, for one cannot love God and sin at the same time: “If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him,” 1 John 2:15.

How do we love God? By knowing who He is, and who He is for us. It is a call to establish our hearts by remembering the character of God. He is compassionate and merciful, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness…,” Exodus 34:6. It’s the same description used of Jesus, the one “full of grace and truth,” John 1:14.

The Word of God is powerful—use it when tempted. Jesus countered every temptation of the devil with the Word. Think about it, Jesus was the Word, and everything He said would have been Scripture and more than sufficient to rebuke the devil. Yet He would say, “It is written” then He quoted God’s Word. It’s important for us to do the same. We must know God’s Word to effectively overcome temptation. That goes back to being prepared; you can’t quote scripture you haven’t learned, and there isn’t any power in what you don’t know or understand.

Temptation will come, but it’s hard for the devil to deceive you when your mind is stayed on the promises of God. Satan can only work with what you give him, so don’t give him any space in your mind. You’ll be able to avoid many of the temptations you face if you will put this into practice, “Walk in the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh,” Galatians 5:16.

Woman with her hands outstretched over water

Man sitting on rocks at lake

Freedom from Your Past

Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

Freedom from Your Past

Embrace It with Purpose

Let’s talk about the past. It’s a big thing. We all have different, challenging experiences and failures. It’s part of living in a fallen world. But if we focus on the negative, it binds us to depression, hopelessness or despair. Now we’re stuck with mind-binding spirits that opens the door to regret and deception. Unfortunately, there is a strongman operating behind one’s thoughts that is keeping anyone from freedom. Mind-binding spirits lock you down and prevent you from moving in a positive or forward direction. They are paralyzing spirits that attack your thinking and physical movement. They keep you in a place of defeat instead of moving you forward to victory.

The solution is to firmly and verbally talk to the evil spirit that is behind the thought. For example, if your mind is obsessively attacked by thoughts of giving up or fear, you should quietly, in a firm tone, command the evil spirit behind the thought to get out of your mind using the Name of Jesus. This is an example, “You evil spirit that causes me to agree with fear, I command you in the name of Jesus, get out of my mind.” Repeatedly say this and you will discover that within a short time the obsession will disappear. This first step leads you to living victoriously and winning the battle of the mind.

The second step is to understand, “What the enemy intended for wrong, God will turn for good,” Genesis 50:20. Interestingly, that place of disappointment or despair leaves wounds that leave a mark on our life emotionally, physically or spiritually but by the power of prayer, it can be transformed into a testimony of greatness. The Bible states, “The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophesy,” Revelation 19:10. When you share your story of how God set you free, it gives hope to others. If God did it for you, He will do it for them. Your personal testimony may be the only Bible someone will read.

It’s time to move into the future and to know God is not hung up by your past. In John 4:4-26, Jesus met the woman at the well. She had five husbands and was living with another man. When she met Jesus, she became free from her past and shared her story with others. She is honored today because of the influence she had in her life when she let go of the past and received forgiveness and freedom. She found her hope in God. As we find freedom from what the world tells us about our past, we receive hope for the future by taking these steps:

 

SUNRISE

 

  1. Embrace your past. It is a part of your life and part of your story. You don’t have to like or accept the way everything went down, but it’s a testimony of the goodness of God. It is part of your story. Imagine what the woman at the well went through being married to five guys? God brought her into the future without shame. Her testimony gives hope for others today.
  2. God knows everything. He knows every thought and motive about our past and never gives up on us. He will always provide a future for us so we can move from the old to the new. 2 Corinthians 5:17, “We are a new creature…”. His love and forgiveness open the door for freedom to a new beginning with purpose.
  3. Freedom is in the cross. When Jesus said, “It is finished!” All our guilt, shame, grief, sorrow, sickness, infirmity was cancelled. Jesus triumphed over our past so we can live victoriously. “You are worthy because you were slain….”, Revelation 5:5. Now Jesus’ past is celebrated in heaven as He bore all our grief and sorrow for total freedom. He alone is worthy to open up the free gift of salvation and to usher in freedom from the past. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, we can embrace our past with a purpose. We have a powerful testimony to encourage others because, “old things have passed away, behold, all things are new,” 2 Corinthians 5:17.

 

Girl on the beach reaching for the sky

 

Woman with her head on man's shoulder

Freedom from Stressful Events


Posted by Pastor Susan Dyer on

Prayers that will Restore Hope

Have you ever had a stressful event happen that diminishes your sense of security and involves a threat to peace or hope? Or have distressing experiences exceed your ability to cope, and your ability to process emotions involved with the experience? These can cause you to feel helpless and leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety. It can also leave you feeling numb, disconnected, and unable to trust others. When bad things happen, it can take time to get over the pain and feel safe again. Whether the event happened years ago or yesterday, you can make healing changes and move forward with your life.

God’s Word and prayer restores our hope. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” When sadness and depression settle into one’s mind, heart, and soul, it is not easy to shake the feelings off, break out of the rut, and move on as some may suggest or think. At times, inner despair remains, regardless of the goodwill offered from those that care. If this sounds like you, realize you are not alone. Many others have battled or are currently battling with valleys of darkness.

During times of trial in our lives, it is our human nature to power through and try to fix the situation ourselves. But God uses those times to foster a greater reliance on Him and His healing power – if we are willing to listen. As you spend time with God, restoration comes when we focus our prayers on His ability to heal you and your loved ones. Whether you’re dealing with grief, divorce, or physical pain, He is the only one who can mend you. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

To help guide your prayer life, below is a prayer that focuses on the healing power from any trauma, stress or anxiety. This prayer can bring freedom to any situation that leaves you feeling overwhelmed and frightened. God’s heart has always been, “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find, knock and the door is open,” Matthew 7:7-8.

Father, I ask in Jesus Name for healing of any unwanted memories, fear, anxiety, nightmares, depression, or any triggers due to trauma, depression, stress and anxiety. I believe in the power in the Name of Jesus and the authority you’ve given me in Luke 10:19 to speak to the hurtful events and memories in Jesus’ Name. I receive that authority to conqueror all memories or setbacks connected with fear, anxiety and trauma.

In the Name of Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, I speak to this event that opened the door for suffering and decree in Jesus’ Name, “Trauma, setbacks and memories, you are a name, and in the Name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I command you to leave me and to never return!” I bless myself and receive the promise in John 8:36, “Whom the Son sets free, is free indeed!” I decree because of Jesus; I am free from past trauma, setbacks, memories and forbid it to come back again. Thank You, Father, for severing all fear bonds, trauma bonds, and all unhealthy and unholy soul ties that have been created through fear, anxiety and trauma.

Thank you, Father, you have not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and soundness of mind, and that is what I claim and receive today. Fill every part of my being with your love, peace and hope. Keep me in perfect peace, especially in the night seasons and bring sound sleep and rest. Send angels to guard me as I sleep and calm me with your perfect love and peace. Thank you, Father, for loving me, healing me and for hearing my prayer. I receive Your Presence and freedom in Jesus Name. Amen